Jokes

Vtipy pro dobrou náladu

JOKES for pleasure and good mood

There was a blonde sitting on a plane in first class seats with an economy class ticket. The flight attendant asked to check her ticket.
'Excuse me' she said 'you only have an economy class ticket but you are sitting in first class. Could you please move to your allocated seat.'

The blonde was very stubborn and said 'Im blonde and beautiful and I'm going to New York.'

So the flight attendant went to another flight attendant and told her the problem. Her answer was the same.

'Im blonde and beautiful and Im going to new york.'

This went on throught 4 other flight attendants.

Finally they went to the captain and told him the problem.

He said 'I can handle this' and went to talk to her.

Hw whispered something in her ear and she got up and ran to economy class.

All the flight attendatns were shocked and they asked him how he did it.

He said 'I told her first class wasn't going to New York.'

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.

She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again, for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, What's the big deal, don't you like getting flowers?"

The red head says, "Oh sure, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says "Don't you have a vase?"

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early.

So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.

The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning.

The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date.

The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.

The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again. "No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.

God says, "There are 3,000 steps and i'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."

So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.

Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.

On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.

Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, "what are you laughing about?", so she replies, "i just got the first joke!".

Whats a blondes favorite nursury rhyme?

Humpme dumpme.

She was so blonde she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

What's the difference between ablonde and a mosquito?

When u slap a mosquito it stops sucking.

Santa Vlause, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde were all walking down the street when they all spotted a 100$ dollar bill.

Who do you think got it?

No one because the first four dont exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

There was a blonde, a brunette, a red-head and a bald woman stuck on a desert island.

The brunette decided to swim home, but got 1/3 of the way there and drowned, The red-had decided to try, but drowned 1/4 of the way there. The blonde decide that she had to risk it, so she swam 1/2 of the way there when she stopped and swam back.

"why did you come all the way back, when you were half way home?" screamed the bald woman. "well", said the blonde "I was going to carry on, but I got tired and thought I'd rest first".