Jokes
Two bowling teams, one all blondes, one all bruneettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team rides on the top level.
The brunette team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs, and she decides to investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in frount of them with white knuckles.
"Whats going on up here?" asks the brunette. "We're having a great time downstairs!"
"Yeah," screams a terrified blonde, "but you've got a driver!"
The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, the blonde team rides on the top level.
The brunette team, down below, is wooping it up and having a great time until one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs, and she decides to investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the blonde team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in frount of them with white knuckles.
"Whats going on up here?" asks the brunette. "We're having a great time downstairs!"
"Yeah," screams a terrified blonde, "but you've got a driver!"
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A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.
A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.
"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."
"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
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A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.
When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.
When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.
When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."
When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.
When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.
When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."
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A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the English Channel Breast Stroke Competition.
The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by
causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, "I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms."
The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by
causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, "I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms."
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A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: "Do you know where you were going?"
Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving."
Cop: "Do you know where you were going?"
Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving."
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There are three people: a blonde named Stacy, a red-head named Mary, and a guy named Jack.
One day Mary says "I think we should rob a bank." And everyone agrees.
So the next week after much planning they all set it up. "Now remember me and Mary are going to circle around for two minures, got it?" Says Jack, "Okay." Says Stacy.
They drive away and two minutes pass and they come back. Stacy hasn't come out. 3 minutes pass, 4 minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, and after 11 minutes Stacy comes runing out with a safe that has been tied up and a guard with his pants down chasing after her. Stacy jumps in the car and they drive off.
Imidietly Mary says, "I told you to blow the safe and tie up the guard!!!"
One day Mary says "I think we should rob a bank." And everyone agrees.
So the next week after much planning they all set it up. "Now remember me and Mary are going to circle around for two minures, got it?" Says Jack, "Okay." Says Stacy.
They drive away and two minutes pass and they come back. Stacy hasn't come out. 3 minutes pass, 4 minutes pass, 10 minutes pass, and after 11 minutes Stacy comes runing out with a safe that has been tied up and a guard with his pants down chasing after her. Stacy jumps in the car and they drive off.
Imidietly Mary says, "I told you to blow the safe and tie up the guard!!!"
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One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
"It's supposed to be a tiger!" Sally cried.
"Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!"
"It's supposed to be a tiger!" Sally cried.
"Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!"
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A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six."
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six."
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A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."
"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."
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